Fun-suckers

Fun-sucker (n): a person who does not participate in merrymaking, but actually sucks the fun out of everyone else's good time.

Who invites these people to social gatherings anyway?
In our circle of friends, one is dating a fun-sucker. When we're all at a party she'll sit in the corner with her arms crossed, and shoots the rest of us disapproving looks. In the middle of a snowballing joke, she'll ask us to stop because we're making her sick. Excuse me!

This past weekend I was at a bachelorette party "Woooo!" and the members of the bridal party sat at a table and watched the bride out on the dancefloor trying to enjoy herself. The bride felt obligated to her guests and so sat with them a while, only to later tell them to go back to the hotel and she would stay to enjoy herself. It wasn't until the "fun-suckers" left that she let loose and the craziness ensued.

So, why do the fun-suckers even come out in the first place? Do they not know that they're fun suckers? I mean, don't they realize that they're not having as much fun as everyone else?

Well, I'm implementing a "no fun-sucker" policy. Next time don't expect an invitation from me and if you show up, I might be the one to send you home early.

My Top Drinks for Summer '09

Summer means heat. Heat means thirst. Thirst means going to the LCBO 2 minutes from my place and purchasing a satisfying liquid-in-a-bottle.

Here are my Top Drinks for this summer...

1. Naked Grape Spritzers - Get the wine of your liking in a beer sized bottle. Drink it like juice, and get silly.

2. St. Ambroise Apricot Wheat Ale - I'm not usually a fan of wheat beer, but I make the exception for this one. Again, drink it like juice, and get real silly.

3. DIY Wine Spritzers - A bottle of cheap white wine + club soda + a slice of lime = good times.

4. Brahma - Remember those hot commercials they use to air? I feel like that after about 5 bottles.

5. Sir Perry's Pear Cider - While I am a big fan of Strongbow (Apple cider), it's nice to switch it up with this yummy alternative.

Drink up and be merry!

"Funny Women Toronto"

I was doing a Google search this morning, trying to find blogs or sites that focus on female comedians in the Toronto area, so that I could contact a few about doing an article on a show I'm in right now.

I typed in "Funny Women Toronto." I figured that was pretty straight to the point?

This is what I got:

I think it's kinda sad that there was only one site that had anything to do with what I was looking for, while all the other sites were just Craigslist posts written by lonely women seeking men or for Toronto Raptors t-shirts in women sizes.

Pathetic.

I know plenty of funny women out there, and in the Toronto area alone, and something needs to be done to get their names and faces out there. And that doesn't mean posting another article about Elvira Kurt - who in my personal opinion has an annoying voice and doesn't tickle my funny bone in the slightest. There are waaaaay funnier chicks out there.

And in doing my part to get those names and faces out there, here are just a few to name:

Kyra Williams
Julie Dumais
Jess Embro
Shari Hollett
Drunk Girl
Jessica Georgina Miller
MT & The Bitter Blondes
Maureen Gualtieri
Elizabeth Fitzgerald
Piper Hayes
Kathleen Phillips

Holy Shit!!!!!

....

The little black girl from the band aid brand commercial is so fucking cute.  Like seriously, she's got the cutest little new york accent ever!!! I just want to smush her!!!  

That is all.