Does anyone else remember the "reduce, re-use, recycle" commercials from the 80's? Well, this group of people certainly does.
What do you think of when you think of people who are trying to "save the planet"? Engineers, right? Ok, maybe not, but maybe we should because they're taking the re-use philosophy to the max.
The Plastiki Expedition
David de Rothschild and his team have embarked on a mission to build a boat out of re-purposed plastic water bottles and sail it across the Pacific Ocean. Their goal is to sail from San Francisco to Sydney in order to inspire others to think of more practical and eco-friendly uses of what is currently perceived as waste.
Their voyage is scheduled to travel through some pretty polluted areas. I wonder if they'll run into the Smoggies?
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
HMV...young kids...pfft
OK.
So, i was at the HMV in Yorkdale (big mistake) - with a homie of mine. She was looking for some Dinosaur Jr. which in a past break-up, the ex. got all the cool shit. We were wandering around for a bit and finally decided to just approach the nearest employee to ask if they even had any Dinosaur Jr. in stock. The "young man", he couldnt have been more than i'd say...19 or 20 - expresses to us, that unfortunately they didnt have any at this location - BUT if we knew who Henry Rollins was, bcuz on his show - he did a great segment on Dinosaur Jr.
HOLD THE FUCKIN PHONE! Know who Henry Rollins is?????? I couldnt even say anything. My homestyle had to kind of lead me away, otherwise the both of us would have started a scandal.
Just bcuz i'm a pretty cute girl, dressed kind of non-descript and look kinda young for my age, doesnt mean i dont know my shit. i could have given this kid a history lesson about Henry Rollins, nevermind - Blackflag and Rollins Band - i coulda given him an entire chronology of where in musical punkrock history they would be.
I will admit - i too at times am that person who sort of judges people when i mention a certain artist or band and the other person gives me the "Huh???" look. But, i'm cute and at least say it in the least condescending way ;) Some of these young kids though...act like their shit doesnt stink and need either a punch in the box, or the throat. I hate young people, especially young people between the ages of 18-22, especially at HMV.
Beware young people, i will not tolerate your supposed musical superiority - thats MY JOB!!!
So, i was at the HMV in Yorkdale (big mistake) - with a homie of mine. She was looking for some Dinosaur Jr. which in a past break-up, the ex. got all the cool shit. We were wandering around for a bit and finally decided to just approach the nearest employee to ask if they even had any Dinosaur Jr. in stock. The "young man", he couldnt have been more than i'd say...19 or 20 - expresses to us, that unfortunately they didnt have any at this location - BUT if we knew who Henry Rollins was, bcuz on his show - he did a great segment on Dinosaur Jr.
HOLD THE FUCKIN PHONE! Know who Henry Rollins is?????? I couldnt even say anything. My homestyle had to kind of lead me away, otherwise the both of us would have started a scandal.
Just bcuz i'm a pretty cute girl, dressed kind of non-descript and look kinda young for my age, doesnt mean i dont know my shit. i could have given this kid a history lesson about Henry Rollins, nevermind - Blackflag and Rollins Band - i coulda given him an entire chronology of where in musical punkrock history they would be.
I will admit - i too at times am that person who sort of judges people when i mention a certain artist or band and the other person gives me the "Huh???" look. But, i'm cute and at least say it in the least condescending way ;) Some of these young kids though...act like their shit doesnt stink and need either a punch in the box, or the throat. I hate young people, especially young people between the ages of 18-22, especially at HMV.
Beware young people, i will not tolerate your supposed musical superiority - thats MY JOB!!!
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
I do NOT want to be cryogenically frozen
BRRRRRRRR......
Why is it that as soon as the days start to get a little warmer the office becomes a freezer? It's nearly June and I'm sitting at my desk wearing two shirts, a scarf and a leather jacket. This is ridiculous! It's not even hot out, why would the A/C even be on? Maybe they're trying to preserve us for the future?
I guess that instead of moving my winter clothes to the back of my closet, I should just bring them to the office this summer so that I'll have something to wear in this artificially chilly environment.
On the plus side: The property manager felt sorry for me this morning and brought me a hot chocolate. mmmmmmmmmm
Why is it that as soon as the days start to get a little warmer the office becomes a freezer? It's nearly June and I'm sitting at my desk wearing two shirts, a scarf and a leather jacket. This is ridiculous! It's not even hot out, why would the A/C even be on? Maybe they're trying to preserve us for the future?
I guess that instead of moving my winter clothes to the back of my closet, I should just bring them to the office this summer so that I'll have something to wear in this artificially chilly environment.
On the plus side: The property manager felt sorry for me this morning and brought me a hot chocolate. mmmmmmmmmm
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Dear Women's Running Club...
Just because you...
- ...pay to run outside
- ...are joined by other women who wasted money to run outside
- ...don't actually run but speed walk
- ...wear a fancy running jacket with deflectors all over it
Does not mean that you can take up the entire sidewalk and give me the evil eye just because I refuse to step off the sidewalk and let your fat ass through.
xoxo,
Inga
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Darth Vader Penis Head
Has anyone ever noticed that Darth Vader's helmet looks a lot like the head of a penis?
Friday, May 8, 2009
You are an asshole if...
... when you see a group of people who are hearing impaired, the first thing that comes to your mind is "Man, I kinda want to watch Mr. Holland's Opus."
*Please note that being an asshole is not necessarily a bad thing. At least it isn't for Pretty Man Brains.
PSA - Attention, you do not look fly!
Alright ladies and gents listen up, I've got a public service announcement to make about SPANDEX. Sounds innocent right? A fabric designed to stretch for increased flexibility and comfort. But in the wrong hands it can be evil; stretching to proportions unimaginable so that it's barely hanging on by a thread, riding and bunching up in the efforts to make it all the way around, and digging in to every available nook and cranny.... AAAAAAAAH!
Now, I know the leggings have been popular the past two seasons, but the weather is getting warmer and the leggings are being ditched in favour of the spandex mini dress. All you have to do is head out on a Friday or Saturday night and you will witness its atrocities. Those things should not be mass produced in a variety of sizes. It's just not cute.
So, to my sistas out there, do not dawn a spandex mini if
a) you have cellulite and it is visible through the garment
b) the spandex finds a home in the fold under your belly roll
c) you have spillage over the top because your flesh is trying to escape its tight grip
d) when you put it on, your friend made the scruchy face before she told you, "Girl, you look fine!" (by the way, she's not your REAL friend if she lets you go out looking like that)
e) When you walk, you've got to hold it down so that the world does not see your parracha
To my brothas:
What the heck are you doing buying this girl a drink or showering her with compliments? You are only perpetuating the problem. Shame on you!
Now, the weather is nice and I'm heading out on Saturday night. I'll be watching you.....
Now, I know the leggings have been popular the past two seasons, but the weather is getting warmer and the leggings are being ditched in favour of the spandex mini dress. All you have to do is head out on a Friday or Saturday night and you will witness its atrocities. Those things should not be mass produced in a variety of sizes. It's just not cute.
So, to my sistas out there, do not dawn a spandex mini if
a) you have cellulite and it is visible through the garment
b) the spandex finds a home in the fold under your belly roll
c) you have spillage over the top because your flesh is trying to escape its tight grip
d) when you put it on, your friend made the scruchy face before she told you, "Girl, you look fine!" (by the way, she's not your REAL friend if she lets you go out looking like that)
e) When you walk, you've got to hold it down so that the world does not see your parracha
To my brothas:
What the heck are you doing buying this girl a drink or showering her with compliments? You are only perpetuating the problem. Shame on you!
Now, the weather is nice and I'm heading out on Saturday night. I'll be watching you.....
College Boy Syndrome
For those of you that know myself and the girls personally; you'll know that we like to appoint technical sounding names to things to make them either sound like a disease or something scientific and valid.
For example things like HDS, Smorange, and the Chihuahua Complex are all terms we use in our vocabulary. We also have a variety of hand gestures we like to pull out every now and again, but that is neither here nor there.
Anyway, I've introduced the "College Boy Syndrome" to our ever growing list. If you're not sure what and if you have "college boy syndrome", I am here to help you figure it out.
If you are over the age of 23 and still think any of these things are a good idea, you have "College Boy Syndrome" (I myself am guilty of all but one of these)
-You still think that Keggers are the best parties in town.
-You use words like "dude, boobies, chicks, etc" in your regular vocabulary
-You still think farting is hilarious
-You are distracted by boobies (yes, I said boobies)
-You have belching competitions with your friends
-You don't need to use booze as an excuse for humiliating yourself in public (just to get a laugh)
Hi, my name is Veronica and I am a 26 year old female College Boy!
For example things like HDS, Smorange, and the Chihuahua Complex are all terms we use in our vocabulary. We also have a variety of hand gestures we like to pull out every now and again, but that is neither here nor there.
Anyway, I've introduced the "College Boy Syndrome" to our ever growing list. If you're not sure what and if you have "college boy syndrome", I am here to help you figure it out.
If you are over the age of 23 and still think any of these things are a good idea, you have "College Boy Syndrome" (I myself am guilty of all but one of these)
-You still think that Keggers are the best parties in town.
-You use words like "dude, boobies, chicks, etc" in your regular vocabulary
-You still think farting is hilarious
-You are distracted by boobies (yes, I said boobies)
-You have belching competitions with your friends
-You don't need to use booze as an excuse for humiliating yourself in public (just to get a laugh)
Hi, my name is Veronica and I am a 26 year old female College Boy!
Dear Asian Women...
It has come to my attention that some of you don't know how to use doors. I have no way of knowing whether you are Chinese, Vietnamese, Korean, Filipino, Taiwanese, etc, but you were most definitely Asian, and you most definitely don't know how to use a door properly. Or at least doors that are in or around a subway station, and I wanted to write you a letter of complaint.
To the woman at Union station 2 weeks ago:
The turnstile exit is meant for one person at a time. I know that you are barely 5 feet in height, but that is still no excuse for you to squeeze in behind me and share what little space a person has to begin with. FACT - You really didn't save any substantial amount of time by doing that. But if you are going to do it, don't shrug your shoulders and smile at the person as if you couldn't help yourself. You may be cute looking, but I still wanted to punch you in the neck.
To the woman at St. George station 2 days ago:
I know that you saw me coming up towards the entrance door. And I know that you quickened your pace so that you could get to the door before me. But was it really necessary to open the door just enough to squeeze yourself through and not have the courtesy to leave it wide enough so that I could either grab at it before it closed or follow right behind you? FACT - You probably didn't save that much energy by opening the door all of 4 inches wide. But you certainly made yourself look like a 名 (which is "Douche" in Chinese).
From one Asian chick to another - do yourself and the rest of society a favour and just learn how to use a friggin' door.
To the woman at Union station 2 weeks ago:
The turnstile exit is meant for one person at a time. I know that you are barely 5 feet in height, but that is still no excuse for you to squeeze in behind me and share what little space a person has to begin with. FACT - You really didn't save any substantial amount of time by doing that. But if you are going to do it, don't shrug your shoulders and smile at the person as if you couldn't help yourself. You may be cute looking, but I still wanted to punch you in the neck.
To the woman at St. George station 2 days ago:
I know that you saw me coming up towards the entrance door. And I know that you quickened your pace so that you could get to the door before me. But was it really necessary to open the door just enough to squeeze yourself through and not have the courtesy to leave it wide enough so that I could either grab at it before it closed or follow right behind you? FACT - You probably didn't save that much energy by opening the door all of 4 inches wide. But you certainly made yourself look like a 名 (which is "Douche" in Chinese).
From one Asian chick to another - do yourself and the rest of society a favour and just learn how to use a friggin' door.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Mafia over Yakuza... really?!?!?!
So I watched my first episodes of "Deadliest Warriors". I caught the "knights vs pirates" episode, and I have to say that I agree with the outcome. Pirates did have gun power, so the scales were tipped in their direction a bit.
However, I do have some beef with the "Mafia vs Yakuza" outcome. No offence to the Mafia or anything, but the kind of training and precision required by the Yakuza is absolutely insane. Sure the mafia might have brute strength on their side, and yes, the baseball bat serves a greater purpose here. But were it to come down to one on one combat my money would be on the Yakuza, and I don't care how handy his opponent is with the bat.
I liken the dynamic to farts. The Mafia would be the loud escalating type farts. Very straight up and to the point. There's no mystery here, we know what's going down, and therefore have some time to prepare for the onslaught. The Yakuza would be more of the silent but deadly kind. These you don't notice until it's too late!
However, I do have some beef with the "Mafia vs Yakuza" outcome. No offence to the Mafia or anything, but the kind of training and precision required by the Yakuza is absolutely insane. Sure the mafia might have brute strength on their side, and yes, the baseball bat serves a greater purpose here. But were it to come down to one on one combat my money would be on the Yakuza, and I don't care how handy his opponent is with the bat.
I liken the dynamic to farts. The Mafia would be the loud escalating type farts. Very straight up and to the point. There's no mystery here, we know what's going down, and therefore have some time to prepare for the onslaught. The Yakuza would be more of the silent but deadly kind. These you don't notice until it's too late!
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Pink Panty Parade
Everyone was to move, but you didn't care.
You left your drawers full, when they should have been bare.
Your desk couldn't be moved, except on its side
You shouldn't have left anything there you wanted to hide.
Your books, pens and papers were chucked in a box,
We bet hiding panties under your desk made you feel like a fox.
Well, now were annoyed that we're doing your part
and we don't care if the whole office thinks you're a tart.
We're leaving your lace pink panties on the top of your pile,
So that when everyone walks in they can't help but smile.
In the morning you'll be embarrassed by the display,
and we'll laugh coyly at your dismay.
You left your drawers full, when they should have been bare.
Your desk couldn't be moved, except on its side
You shouldn't have left anything there you wanted to hide.
Your books, pens and papers were chucked in a box,
We bet hiding panties under your desk made you feel like a fox.
Well, now were annoyed that we're doing your part
and we don't care if the whole office thinks you're a tart.
We're leaving your lace pink panties on the top of your pile,
So that when everyone walks in they can't help but smile.
In the morning you'll be embarrassed by the display,
and we'll laugh coyly at your dismay.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Cougs Gone Wild in Mexico
Before the spread of the Swine Flu,
I was in Mexico where I witnessed
another epidemic take place:
The outbreak of The Cougars.
Unlike the Swine Flu, indiscriminate to those it infects, The Cougars prey on only one kind of being - young, single men. If you are a young, single man, Pretty Man Brains would advise you to get checked immediately for symptoms resulting from Cougar interaction such as: phone calls from husbands, a sudden attraction to leopard print bikinis in a size XL, and any vinnereal disease that dates as far back as The Great Depression.
Who are the deadliest warriors?
Ever wonder who would win in a fight? John McClean or Jack Bower?
(feel free to discuss)
Well, I discovered a television program called "Deadliest Warrior" that wonders the same thing on a larger scale. Who would win in a battle, the spartans or the ninjas? They've put historians, weapons experts and scientists together to demostrate battle stragtegies, weapon uses, and the damage the cause. They then imput the experimental data they've collected into a computer program that reacts the battle a hundred times to determine who would win.
This Tuesday - Yakuza vs. Mafia I can't wait.
(feel free to discuss)
Well, I discovered a television program called "Deadliest Warrior" that wonders the same thing on a larger scale. Who would win in a battle, the spartans or the ninjas? They've put historians, weapons experts and scientists together to demostrate battle stragtegies, weapon uses, and the damage the cause. They then imput the experimental data they've collected into a computer program that reacts the battle a hundred times to determine who would win.
This Tuesday - Yakuza vs. Mafia I can't wait.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Not so Missed Connection
So I was reading Missed Connections on Craigslist this morning; as I often do when things are slow at the office; and came upon this posting.
http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/tor/mis/1148933655.html
It's a pretty long one, so I'll just break it down for you. Basically, this guy was talking about how he went to high park and some mystery nymph took him into the woods and proceeded to blow him.
First of all, as Andy pointed out, chances are this is probably fictional and this guy clearly missed his calling as a romance novelist.
Secondly, if it is in fact a genuine post all I have to say is, ew and for his sake I hope she didn't have any cold sores... but I digress.
Anyway, back to the post. If you've read it, you know that she let him blow his load in her mouth. If you haven't, well now you know that not only is she a nymph, but a dirty one too;) (Not that there's anything wrong with a good spit or swallow, but I generally make it a rule not to swallow a strangers spunk). That being said, jizzing in someone's mouth doesn't exactly consitute a missed connection; in fact I'm pretty sure there was some heavy connecting going on there. Maybe if he had gotten it in her eye or something we could classify it as a miss. However, as it stands, I'm going to classify this as a hit.
And while we're on the topic of Jiz please check out Miss Teasa's video for "Jiz"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3mJieVeOrA
Thanks... peace, love and great sex for all!!!
http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/tor/mis/1148933655.html
It's a pretty long one, so I'll just break it down for you. Basically, this guy was talking about how he went to high park and some mystery nymph took him into the woods and proceeded to blow him.
First of all, as Andy pointed out, chances are this is probably fictional and this guy clearly missed his calling as a romance novelist.
Secondly, if it is in fact a genuine post all I have to say is, ew and for his sake I hope she didn't have any cold sores... but I digress.
Anyway, back to the post. If you've read it, you know that she let him blow his load in her mouth. If you haven't, well now you know that not only is she a nymph, but a dirty one too;) (Not that there's anything wrong with a good spit or swallow, but I generally make it a rule not to swallow a strangers spunk). That being said, jizzing in someone's mouth doesn't exactly consitute a missed connection; in fact I'm pretty sure there was some heavy connecting going on there. Maybe if he had gotten it in her eye or something we could classify it as a miss. However, as it stands, I'm going to classify this as a hit.
And while we're on the topic of Jiz please check out Miss Teasa's video for "Jiz"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3mJieVeOrA
Thanks... peace, love and great sex for all!!!
Today's Walk-to-Work theme: Yelling
I got up relatively early this morning and decided it was a good day to walk to work (the realization that it was also May 1st and I hadn't bought my Metropass yet also contributed to this decision).
I took as many park paths as possible to enjoy the "quiet." Once I hit Bay Street however, I had to accept the fact that "quiet" would be non-existent for the rest of the walk.
I turned on a side street heading east and then made my way down Yonge. There was a guy across the street preaching. Yonge street isn't very wide, and the traffic wasn't that bad, but all I could hear the guy yell out was "Badddaa badadabdabda BAH BADAMA BADAMA badadada..." I'm pretty sure he was trying to speak English, but was inhibited by:
a) Alcohol
b) Drugs
c) Crazy
I kept making my way down Yonge and walked passed a crew of construction workers doing something with the pipes underneath the sidewalk. One worker (Guy 1) was some distance away receiving the piping being fed to him by the other guys (Guy 2-4). This was their conversation:
Guy 1: Pete, you're putting in the same pipe!
Guy 2: WHA?
Guy 1: Pete, you're putting in the same pipe!
Guy 2: WHA?
Guy 1: Pete, you're putting in the same fucking pipe!
Guy 3: We can't hear a fucking word you're saying Tony!
Guy 1: Of for god sakes, YOU'RE PUTTING IN THE SAME FUCKING PIPE!
Guy 3: (to Guy 2) I can't hear a goddamn word coming outta his mouth!
Guy 2: Am I putting in the same pipe?
Guy 4: (to me) Morning Miss.
They were 5 metres away from one another.
I took as many park paths as possible to enjoy the "quiet." Once I hit Bay Street however, I had to accept the fact that "quiet" would be non-existent for the rest of the walk.
I turned on a side street heading east and then made my way down Yonge. There was a guy across the street preaching. Yonge street isn't very wide, and the traffic wasn't that bad, but all I could hear the guy yell out was "Badddaa badadabdabda BAH BADAMA BADAMA badadada..." I'm pretty sure he was trying to speak English, but was inhibited by:
a) Alcohol
b) Drugs
c) Crazy
I kept making my way down Yonge and walked passed a crew of construction workers doing something with the pipes underneath the sidewalk. One worker (Guy 1) was some distance away receiving the piping being fed to him by the other guys (Guy 2-4). This was their conversation:
Guy 1: Pete, you're putting in the same pipe!
Guy 2: WHA?
Guy 1: Pete, you're putting in the same pipe!
Guy 2: WHA?
Guy 1: Pete, you're putting in the same fucking pipe!
Guy 3: We can't hear a fucking word you're saying Tony!
Guy 1: Of for god sakes, YOU'RE PUTTING IN THE SAME FUCKING PIPE!
Guy 3: (to Guy 2) I can't hear a goddamn word coming outta his mouth!
Guy 2: Am I putting in the same pipe?
Guy 4: (to me) Morning Miss.
They were 5 metres away from one another.
(PS - Vron...f'n hilarious)
Sing to tune of "My Favourite Things" from "The Sound of Music"
In the same vain as the last post, I thought I'd enter my first post as well.
"... boobies and beer and chicken wings; These are a few of my favourite things"
Well it isn't called pretty man brains for nothing!
"... boobies and beer and chicken wings; These are a few of my favourite things"
Well it isn't called pretty man brains for nothing!
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